Let's see... ahem
"I, Kelsey Burton, am on a mission to finally grow up and forget my embarrassing adolescent alter-ego - but it's gonna be tough while still navigating friendships with clueless childhood pals & a goofy alien fangirling over my old made-up persona."
...
...Hey now, I take offense to this. I am grown up - and what is this about a made-up alter ego? I have no idea what that's talking about...
Should I just keep reading off? Alright.